the energetic problem solver

ESTP type diamond e s t p

ESTPs and relationships

ESTPs are tough nuts to crack, but once you get to know them and see how they tick, they become very warm and fun to be around. They tend to be distracted by their goals and their work. And though they’re very self-reliant, ESTPs enjoy the company of like-minded people. They prefer tight-knit groups of close friends, as well as the freedom to do what they please.



In conflict, ESTPs don’t take things as seriously as many other personality types, and they tend to laugh things off as unimportant. This isn’t because they don’t care, but rather because they’re often quick to compromise so things can move on.

If others are in conflict, the ESTP is not likely the type of person to intervene to smooth things over. Rather, they will likely voice their opinion and then stay out of the way.

If conflicts arise, ESTPs can minimize them by:

  • Taking things a bit more seriously if that’s what the other person needs. If an ESTP is in a conflict with someone who is a bit more sensitive, it’s important for the other person to feel that they’re being listened to.
  • Trying not to manipulate the other person into ending the conflict. ESTPs are very good at reading other people, which could give them an advantage when resolving conflicts. However, if the other people involved feel that the ESTP is being inauthentic, this could backfire quickly.
  • Interjecting more to help others resolve conflict. If there is a conflict within a group of friends or co-workers, the ESTP could step in to help the two sides understand each other.

ESTP and love

ESTPs are natural Extraverts, so they may date lots of people for convenience and companionship without too many strings attached. Because they crave autonomy and independence, many ESTPs prefer to stay out of serious relationships until they’re ready to commit. They might miss subtle social cues, so it can be difficult for an ESTP to tell when the other person is ready to get serious.

If you’re an ESTP, it’s best to be up front about your expectations with the person you’re romantically involved with.

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ESTP and parenting

Knowing your MBTI® personality type gives you a distinct advantage when it comes to raising your children. Knowing about your communication habits, stress triggers, values, and how your personality is similar or different from your children makes the whole parenting process easier.

An ESTP parent will likely practice an independent parenting style that gives their child a lot of freedom to make his or her own decisions. They trust that their child is learning their own way, and want their children to become free thinkers who can take care of themselves.

As a parent, ESTPs will likely feel stressed when their children seem too needy or when they won’t communicate their issues directly. Knowing stress triggers is especially important for parents so they can care for themselves in order to best care for their children.

If an ESTP thinks their child’s preferences are similar to their own (especially when it comes to the Sensing and Thinking preferences), they can better understand how their child takes in information and makes decisions. Both are important for parental communication.

If an ESTP parent thinks their child’s preferences are different than their own (especially if they have an Intuition or Feeling preference), they’ll have the knowhow to change their communication and parenting style to better suit those preferences. Parents can “speak their child’s language”.

By integrating awareness of differences into family life, the whole family will benefit from the insights, just as individuals benefit from turning personality knowledge into action.


ESTP and friendship

In friendships, ESTPs will likely bond over shared interests and lifestyles more than emotional connections. They prefer to surround themselves with people who are doing cool things or who are motivated in the same ways that they are.

The ESTP has no problem using friendships to make new connections that may benefit them professionally. They want to help their friends succeed (and vice versa), and they don’t see anything wrong with surrounding themselves with like-minded people.