the energetic problem solver

ESTP type diamond e s t p

ESTPs and relationships

People with ESTP preferences may be difficult to get to know. Once you do get to know them—and learn their motivations—they tend to be lots of fun to be around. However, they may be easily distracted by work and life goals.

Although they’re known for being self-reliant, ESTPs enjoy the company of like-minded people. They prefer tight-knit groups of close friends, and relish the freedom to do what they please.


ESTPs and conflict

In conflict, ESTPs don’t take things too seriously. They tend to laugh things off. This isn’t because they don’t care, but rather because they’re quick to compromise and move on.

When others are in conflict, ESTPs aren’t likely to intervene to try and smooth things over. They will likely voice their opinion and then stay out of the way.

If you have ESTP preferences, you can minimize conflict in your relationships by:

  • Taking things a bit more seriously if that’s what the other person needs. If you’re in conflict, it’s important for the other person to feel that you’re listened to them.
  • Trying not to manipulate the other person into ending the conflict. You’re likely very good at reading others. This could give you an advantage when resolving a conflict, but if other people feel that you’re not being authentic, this could backfire and cause further conflict.
  • Interjecting more to help others resolve conflict. When you see conflict between friends or colleagues, try stepping in to help the different sides understand one another better.

ESTPs and love

People with ESTP preferences crave autonomy and independence. As a result, they may choose to stay out of serious relationships until they’re ready to commit, preferring instead to date for convenience and companionship without too many strings attached.

Because they’re prone to missing subtle social cues, it can be difficult for ESTPs to tell when a romantic partner is ready to get serious. Being upfront about their expectations may help to avoid uncomfortable conversations later on.

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ESTPs and parenting

The MBTI® framework can be very helpful when it comes to raising children. Knowledge of your own communication habits, stress triggers, and preferences often makes parenting easier. By integrating an awareness of differences into family life, the whole family can benefit from these insights.

ESTPs will likely practice an independent parenting style, giving their children the freedom to make their own decisions. They tend to trust their children to learn and grow in their own way. They want their children to become freethinkers who can take care of themselves.

ESTP parents may find it stressful if their children seem too needy or refuse to share issues directly.

If you have ESTP preferences and you think your child shares your Sensing and Thinking preferences, this can help you to understand how your child takes in information and makes decisions—both of which are important for how you communicate as a parent. If you think your child’s preferences are different than yours, self-awareness will help you to change your communication and parenting style to better suit those preferences.


ESTPs and friendship

People with ESTP preferences are likely to build friendships around shared interests and lifestyles more than emotional connections. They prefer to surround themselves with people who are doing interesting things or people who are motivated the same way they are.

ESTPs have no problem using friendships to make new connections that benefit them professionally. They want to help their friends succeed (and want friends to help them succeed), and don’t see anything wrong in surrounding themselves with like-minded people.