the compassionate facilitator

ENFj type diamond e n f j

ENFJs and relationships

In a relationship, ENFJs are warm, caring, and focused on their partner’s individual happiness just as much as their own. They want to see their partner meet his or her goals, and they will do whatever they can to help him or her achieve them. ENFJs are intuitive and forward-thinking, knowing just what their partner needs. If you’re an ENFJ, you might look for shared values and lifestyles when choosing a partner. This is because ENFJs tend to feel most comfortable when working together as part of a team.

ENFJs are always incredibly concerned with harmony, so they’re selective about choosing a partner and determined to create a sturdy foundation when they’ve entered into a relationship. ENFJs are always looking toward the future. Because it may take them a while to open up about their own feelings, they’ll probably only enter a relationship for the long haul.



Conflict is difficult for the ENFJ. They tend to avoid it at all costs. They approach argument or disagreement with the hopes of ending it as soon as possible, but this can lead to avoiding the big issues or sweeping things aside.

In a relationship, this can work because it helps to avoid petty arguments or small disagreements. But when there are larger issues, an ENFJ may let them go too quickly.

To manage conflict and truly resolve the issues in a relationship, an ENFJ needs encouragement and a safe place to voice their opinion. If they feel like they can trust the other person, they’ll speak up and get to the root of the problem.

ENFJ and love

In love, ENFJs are the ultimate cheerleaders. They’ll always encourage their partners to go for their goals and try to help them get what they want out of life. While this may be too much for some people, ENFJs are caring and intuitive partners.

On the other hand, they may struggle to ask for what they need, so the right romantic partner for an ENFJ will be someone who can get them to open up about their own needs.

Want to improve your relationships and learn more about your personality type? Take the MBTI® assessment here and receive our personal development course on Getting Along included with your purchase.

ENFJ and parenting

Knowing your MBTI® personality type gives you a distinct advantage when it comes to raising children. Understanding your communication habits, stress triggers, values, and how your personality is similar or different from your children helps make the whole parenting process easier.

Extraverted Feeling is an ENFJ’s most preferred process. This means that the family sees them as being collaborative, considerate, and outwardly decisive, as that’s what is shown most frequently.

An ENFJ parent will likely feel stressed from not feeling appreciated, not staying on schedule, feeling misunderstood, and receiving negativity from children or family members. It’s important to know these stress triggers so parents can care for themselves and best care for their children.

If an ENFJ thinks their child’s preferences are similar to their own (especially when it comes to the Intuition and Feeling preferences), they can better understand how their child takes in information and makes decisions – both very important in terms of how parents communicate.

If an ENFJ thinks their child’s preferences are different than theirs (especially if they have a Sensing or Thinking preference), they’ll have the knowhow to change communication and parenting style to better suit those preferences. Parents can “speak their child’s language”.

By integrating awareness of differences into family life, the whole family will benefit from the insights, just as individuals benefit from turning personality knowledge into action.


ENFJ and friendship

As friends, ENFJs are thoughtful, considerate, and expressive, which makes them fun to be around. They’re great listeners when a friend needs to talk. ENFJs care deeply about the other person’s values and dreams, and often try to help friends achieve success or find happiness. They quickly perceive emotional needs and tend to make their friends feel valued and understood.

ENFJs are less quick to share their own emotions (or, more importantly, their problems or issues) in a friendship. They often take a while to open up to a new friend. But, with a small, tight-knit group of close friends, ENFJs will feel comfortable.