the compassionate facilitator

ENFj type diamond e n f j

ENFJs and relationships

In a relationship, ENFJs tend to be warm and caring. They’re likely to focus on their partner’s happiness as much as their own. They want to see their partner achieve personal goals, and they’ll do whatever they can to help with this. Their intuitive, forward-thinking nature means they often know exactly what their partner needs and when they need it.

People with ENFJ preferences are incredibly concerned with harmony. This makes them selective when it comes to choosing a partner and determined to create a sturdy foundation once they enter into a relationship. Because it may take them a while to open up about their own feelings, they’ll probably only enter a relationship for the long haul.



Conflict is difficult for ENFJs, so they tend to avoid it at all costs. They approach arguments or disagreements with the hope of ending the conflict as soon as possible.

In a relationship, their aversion to conflict often helps ENFJs avoid petty arguments or small disagreements. But they may avoid larger issues or leave them unresolved.

To manage conflict and truly resolve any issues in their relationships, ENFJs need encouragement and a safe space to voice their opinions. If they feel like they can trust the other person, they’ll speak up and get to the root of the problem.

If you have ENFJ preferences, you can minimize conflict in your relationships by:

  • Speaking up and standing your ground about the things that bother you, rather than worrying about the other person’s feelings. Remember, your views can add value and may even help to resolve a conflict. Not everyone sees disagreement as damaging to a relationship.
  • Trying not to focus on people’s feelings at the expense of everything else.
  • Using your natural empathy to welcome others into the dialogue and ensure that everyone’s needs are met. This is a valuable strength that can help others reach a positive resolution more quickly.

This is a valuable strength that can help others reach a positive resolution more quickly.

ENFJs and love

In love, ENFJs are the ultimate cheerleaders. They’ll always encourage their partners to go for their goals and try to help them get what they want out of life. While this may be too much for some people, ENFJs are caring and intuitive partners.

On the other hand, they may struggle to ask for what they need, so the right romantic partner for an ENFJ will be someone who can get them to open up about their own needs.

Want to improve your relationships? Take the MBTI® assessment here and receive our personal development course on Getting Along included with your purchase.

ENFJs and parenting

The MBTI® framework can be very helpful when it comes to raising children. Knowledge of your own communication habits, stress triggers, and preferences often makes parenting easier. By integrating an awareness of differences into family life, the whole family can benefit from these insights.

Parents with ENFJ preferences are often collaborative, considerate, and outwardly decisive. Possible stress triggers for ENFJs include:

If you have ENFJ preferences and you think your child shares your Intuition and Feeling preferences, this can help you to understand how your child takes in information and makes decisions—both of which are important for how you communicate as a parent. If you think your child’s preferences are different than yours—Sensing or Thinking—your own self-awareness will help you change your communication style to better suit those preferences.


ENFJs and friendship

ENFJs are thoughtful, considerate, and expressive friends, which often makes them a lot of fun to be around. They’re great listeners. They quickly perceive the emotional needs of others and tend to make their friends feel valued and understood. Because they care deeply about other people’s values, they will often try to help their friends achieve success or find happiness.

ENFJs won’t often share their own emotions—or, more importantly, their problems or issues—even with their friends. They may take a while to open up to new people. They tend to feel most comfortable with a small, tight-knit group of close friends.