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INTJ type diamond i n t j

INTJs and relationships

In their personal relationships, INTJs often feel like they need to take care of other people. They do this by solving their problems for them. While this isn’t always the case, it is one of the most endearing and admirable aspects of an INTJ’s personality, and it is usually met with gratitude from friends and family.



INTJs are not quick to engage in conflict, and it takes quite a lot to make them angry. Because they are so direct and matter-of-fact, they can take criticism quite well and they don’t typically take things personally. However, INTJs can become irritated when others let their emotions get the better of them and behave irrationally. If others are having an argument, the INTJ typically offers their blunt opinion but won’t interfere.

If conflicts arise, INTJs can minimize them by:

  • Providing a listening ear rather than simply trying to solve the problem. It may be difficult for you, as an INTJ, to understand that sometimes people just need to vent. But it can often help to avoid a conflict before it begins.
  • Instead of offering your blunt opinion in another person’s conflict, offer some advice for how both parties can communicate and see each other’s side.
  • Some INTJs are so used to being too intense for other people that they start to keep their emotions bottled up when in conflict. Learn to communicate your own emotions calmly and without anger.

INTJ and love

INTJs are strong caretakers, and while they may not always communicate their feelings with words, they show them with their actions. INTJs are often the ones to change a lightbulb, pick their partner up from work, or encourage their partner to ask for a raise. They notice patterns in their relationship and try not to make the same mistakes twice.

They pride themselves on being loyal and dependable. While INTJs aren’t typically extremely sociable, they enjoy spending a lot of quality time with the person they love.

Want to improve your relationships and learn more about your personality type? Take the MBTI® assessment here and receive our personal development course on Getting Along included with your purchase.

INTJ and parenting

Knowing your MBTI® personality type gives you a distinct advantage when it comes to raising children. Understanding your communication habits, stress triggers, values, and how your personality is similar or different from your children helps make the whole parenting process easier.

A parent with INTJ preferences will likely look for “parenting hacks” and ways to become a better parent through trial and error. They look for ways to improve themselves for their children, who likely appreciate the energy and engagement.

As parents, INTJs likely feel stressed when their children behave in a way that’s irrational or unpredictable, or when they can’t move on from a tantrum. Knowing their own stress triggers is especially important for parents, because they need to be able to care for themselves so they can best care for their children.

If an INTJ parent thinks their child’s preferences are similar to their own (especially when it comes to the Intuition and Thinking preferences), they can better understand how their child takes in information and makes decisions – both very important in terms of how parents communicate.

If an INTJ type thinks their child’s preferences are different than theirs (especially if they have a Sensing or Feeling preference), they’ll have the knowhow to change communication and parenting style to better suit those preferences. They’ll be able to “speak their child’s language”.

By integrating awareness of differences into family life, the whole family will benefit from the insights, just as individuals benefit from turning personality knowledge into action.


INTJ and friendship

INTJs are talkative and attentive to their close friends. They listen intently when their friends are talking, and they often remember things they say in the form of a gift or a recommendation later on.

INTJs may be too direct or matter-of-fact for some people, but for the people they’re close with, they are kind, caring, and always willing to help.