the insightful visionary

INFJ type diamond i n f j

INFJs and relationships

People with INFJ preferences tend to have a gift for intuitively understanding relationships and complex meanings. They often have a lot of empathy for others, allowing them to easily understand the feelings of their partner, peers, family, and friends. They’re sometimes seen as private or mysterious, but often friendly to those they’ve just met. However, they’ll only share their complex inner thoughts with people they’re close to.



People who prefer INFJ “in conflict situations harness their insights into how others operate, working toward harmony and ensuring no one is left with long-term ill effects” (Introduction to Type® and Conflict, p. 26). This can work well for them when getting buy-in from others during conflict. However, it could come at a cost when people who prefer INFJ are so concerned about everyone else that they don’t take care of their own needs.

The FJ conflict style from people who prefer INFJ works when they need to bring people from different points of view together sooner rather than later. However, this approach could fail when one person is clearly right and another is not. Being direct and to the point (with specific details) might require more flexing than this person is willing to do in the heat of the moment.

Quick Tip for Those with Preferences for INFJ: Restoring harmony when in conflict can work well for you when getting closure. However, it could also result in hurt feelings getting bottled up inside. Read more.

INFJ and love

INFJs can tune in to their partners to anticipate needs and ways to increase their comfort. They like to visualize how the future of a relationships can be brighter and make decisions about relationships from a moral perspective and based on shared values with their partner. For INFJs, harmony is key to a good relationship.

They are selective about who they choose as a partner, because they put a significant amount of energy into strengthening the ties between themselves and others in the relationship. However, they might not always be vocal about their fears, needs, feelings and concerns unless they feel they can totally trust the other person.

Want to improve your relationships and learn more about your personality type? Take the MBTI® assessment here and receive our personal development course on Getting Along included with your purchase.

INFJ and parenting

Parenting isn’t easy. But knowing your MBTI personality type gives you a distinct advantage when it comes to raising your kids. Knowing about your communication habits, stress triggers, values, and how your personality is similar or different from your children is a distinct advantage that makes the whole parenting process easier.

As someone with INFJ preferences, the strongest part of your personality that your family sees is extraverted Feeling. This means that your family likely perceives you as being collaborative, considerate and outwardly decisive as those are the traits that you’re showing them most frequently (aka the part of your personality that you’re extraverting). Unless you’re stressed that is.

As a parent, you’ll likely find yourself stressed from not feeling appreciated, lack of staying on schedule, feeling misunderstood and negativity. Knowing your stress triggers is especially important as a parent, because you need to be able to care for yourself in order to best care for your children. If you think your child’s preferences are similar to your own (especially when it comes to the Intuitive and Feeling preferences), you can better understand how they take in information and how they make decisions – both very important in terms of how you communicate as a parent.

If you think your child’s preferences are different than yours (especially if they have a Sensing or Thinking preference), you’ll have the know-how to change your communication style and your parenting to better suit their preferences. Essentially, you’ll be able to “speak their language”. By integrating awareness of differences into your family’s life, your whole family will benefit from the insights, just as you benefit from turning your personality knowledge into action.


INFJ and friendship

In friendships, INFJs can often perceive patterns in the connections and interactions of other people. They tend to be emphathetic towards their friends, with the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They also tend to be very compassionate and sympathetic friends, often putting other people’s needs before themselves. While they’re great at motivating and encouraging their friends, INFJs often have only small groups of close friends as they value their quiet, alone-time to recharge.